We're Not Just Decluttering, We're Sharing Memories

It has been a pretty emotional couple of weeks. As the summer season began, we’ve been taking advantage of yard sale season, participating in several community and local sales to declutter our home and share some of the treasures we’ve collected over the years. As we were sorting through household stuff, decorative items, collectibles, music and clothing, nearly every item brought back a flood of memories.

By nature, much of what we amass and hold onto are things that have been passed down from our parents and grandparents, and we keep them for years not wanting to let go. But there comes a time when they need to move on. It becomes time for someone else to enjoy them.

Last week also coincided with what would have been my mother’s 88^th birthday and my mother-in-law’s 104^th birthday, and with Mother’s Day not too long ago and Father’s Day coming up, it became harder and harder to put things on the sale tables.

It was heart-wrenching at times with the heartless bartering -- “Would you take fifty cents for this?” or “I’ll give you a quarter for that.” How can people be so cold and cruel? Don’t they realize these items represent lives and memories?

Then I remembered that I may have done that myself at yard sales sometimes in the past, so it certainly changed my perspective.

And then there were some people who treated each item with reverence. Understanding the stories behind the items and even asking to hear the background.

Retelling about mom’s life as a performer, and how she dressed up every day of her life. Or about the sewing machine she used to make costumes she wore performing in talent shows.

Or the records with songs my grandmother and grandfather used to sing (badly) around the house. Or the toys we played with as kids, Or the decorative pieces and trinkets we picked up traveling – each one a memory.

Memories of grandma taking me to see the Empire State Building because I love the (original) King Kong movie, or grandpa taking me to Coney Island to try to win prizes on the boardwalk.

Or how we used the cassette duplicator to make demo tapes to send out to venues when my wife and I managed a band.

People listened intently, wanting to hear the stories.

One young girl and her mother asking about the little booklets called Port Guides from the late 70s and early 80s that I used in the Navy to educate my fellow sailors about customs in various ports of call.

Another fascinated with colorful pieces of vintage costume jewelry.

The 1939 World’s Fair ashtray my grandfather used. A dinosaur-shaped telephone that could be set to roar as well as ring – and that I forgot to warn my wife about that when I set it up.

And the fur coat mom bought for herself to boost her self-esteem after her divorce.

So hard to let these things go.

But such an uplifting experience to know that the memories will live on as each person took with them, not just the items, but the stories behind them that they will retell.

We had several people visit our yard sale who remembered our stories from previous years and told us how they retell those stories when people ask about items they bought from us in the past.

Overall, it has been a beautiful experience, sad in some ways, uplifting in others. And freeing as we continue to declutter the physical environment and share the emotions and memories. 

A big thank you to those who helped us ensure these memories will continue to live on, bringing joy for others.

Call me Naive

Someone called me "naive" the other day.

Perhaps in some ways that may be true.
But in my naivete, I work to protect the innocent, the underdog, and the repressed from the selfish, the bullies and the bigots.

Maybe I can't make a difference in the world scheme of things, but, being naive, I won't acknowledge that and will keep fighting for what I've been taught was the right way to treat people.

Maybe, being naive, I can't see that helping one person among the billions of people on this planet, it may be unachievable to change the world.

Maybe.

But also, maybe that naive persistence will strike fear in the selfish, the bullies and the bigots.
Fear that I might be right.
Fear that maybe I can make a difference after all.

And maybe that fear will cause some of those selfish bullies and bigots to feel they need to lash out and call me naive.

Okay.
I am fine with that.

Join me in my naivete. Let's work together against oppression, discrimination, meanness, and intolerance.

If each of us just helps one other, imagine the impact we can have together. 

Maybe I can't save all the starfish that have been cast from the sea all by myself. But I can toss them back in one at a time.
Wanna help me?

hashtag#shareyourfire
hashtag#leadership
hashtag#tolerance
hashtag#kindness

"Meep! Meep!"

 

Right now, it may seem as if we are poor Wile E. Coyote, doomed to fail at every attempt to be successful. All the plans and preparations we have made for our careers and our future, our health and happiness, seem to be blocked, sidetracked, or foiled, and the light at the end of the tunnel is inevitably an oncoming train.

No matter what Wile E. attempts to do, he is always ultimately ineffective and unsuccessful. His target, the Road Runner, is always completely unscathed in the end and never truly gets disrupted by all of the Coyote’s shenanigans.

What defeats Wile E. are the lack of logic, common sense, compassion, and dignity. 

And the Road Runner always wins because he refuses to even acknowledge the craziness caused by the Coyote.

No matter how it may seem, WE are not Wile E. Coyote.

We are, and must be, the Road Runner!

We must continue on our path, not be distracted by the insane attempts to destroy us, and perhaps, even be the driver of that oncoming train and foil the plans of the Coyote.  

Image ©1961 Chuck Jones, “Zip n’ Snort”

Understanding our impact!

Every interaction we have with someone else has the potential to make a huge difference, whether we intend it to or not. What we say, what we do, or maybe even how we say it, can have a far-reaching impact. 

Imagine this: On your drive to work someone rudely cuts you off on the highway, making you miss the exit and then you get stuck in heavy traffic trying to loop back around. By the time you get to the parking garage, you’re cranky, frazzled, rushed. 

Walking across the street from the parking lot to your office, you pass a homeless person on the corner. He's a regular and you see him there every day, maybe you've exchanged pleasantries from time to time, or perhaps, even occasionally, you've given him a buck or two. But today, you're not in the mood. Sure, you've got some extra change in your pocket, but that incident on the highway is still haranguing you, so you don't want to be bothered and are not in the mood to acknowledge the guy’s outstretched hand. Maybe you even snarl at him to leave you alone. Other people see you ignore him and emulate your indifference, also deciding to ignore him. Unbeknownst to you, the homeless guy is diabetic and doesn’t get enough money to buy food that day, he suffers a medical crisis that evening. But you know nothing about that, you're just storming into your office late because of that idiot on the highway. 

When you finally get in the office - you’re still off your game. Maybe in your bad mood, you snap at your coworker, Sara. Now Sara’s in a bad mood. Her whole day is thrown off and she gets snippy with others. Everyone else in the office notices the tension, now they are all stressed. They go home carrying that stress, wind up being impatient and intolerant, maybe yell at their kids over something petty,  or don’t take time to help their kids with their homework and the kids feel the tension, can't focus on studying and fail their test the next day. 

See how things can snowball? This is the power that we are capable of wielding. 

Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man and much of the original stable of Marvel superheroes, paraphrased a quote originated by French author Voltaire in the 1700s, “With great power there must also come great responsibility.” 

So how will you wield your power? The only difference between a superhero and a villain is how they use their power. 

Here’s your challenge: Review the above scenario – think about what alternative reactions and actions could have taken place to change the entire scenario into something positive, effective, or productive. Now, think about recent situations you have been through - are there things you could have changed to reach a healthier outcome?  

 #ShareYourFire #TorchTip #Learn #Growthmindset #leadershipskills #teambuilding #personaldevelopment #Trust #Opportunity #Respect #Communication #Humanity #selfreflection

Knowledge not shared is knowledge lost

In recognition of National Author's Day, I’d like to remind you to share your story. Whatever that story may be.

Throughout our lives and careers, we have learned things. We learned from our successes. We’ve learned when things didn’t go as planned. We learned from our experiences, from the people around us, from the influences of nature.

Whether it is how to accomplish a task, what not to do in a certain type of situation, behaviors to emulate – or even those to avoid – each and every one of us has something to share with others.

That knowledge is the light that guides us in the darkness, and the fire that provides us warmth. 

That light, that fire, should not be wasted, lost, nor allowed to burn out. It needs to be shared so that others may benefit. 

Think about this. When we want to know something, learn how to do something, wonder about the quality of a product or service, or just answer a question. What do we do?  We turn to the internet, open a book, look up a video on YouTube, look up reviews on Google, etc.

What if none of those resources existed? What if no one took the time to create those how-to videos, write those books, share their favorite recipes, or post reviews? Literally and figuratively – nothing could be accomplished.  

To all of you out there who’ve taken the time to share by authoring a book, a blog, an article, podcast episode or tv or movie script, I say THANK YOU! My life is so much more enriched through your willingness to share your story.

And you have inspired me to share mine.

Although I have yet to publish my own individual book, over the years, I have been honored to share my knowledge and experiences in 18 collaborations with experts and influencers around the world. From professional texts on government communications to self-improvement and inspirational compilations, each was an opportunity to share a piece of information that may have helped someone solve a problem, achieve a level of success, or improve their quality of life in some way.

Plus, I had the remarkable opportunity to learn from all the coauthors and co-contributors in these volumes.

Celebrate National Authors Day with me.

Oh, by the way, there remains a few opportunities to join me in the latest collaboration book, “The Art of Connection:365 Days of Abundance Quotes.”

Check out my web page to learn how.

https://www.johnverrico.com/be-a-co-author-with-me

Share Your Fire! 

Pineapples!

I had to laugh when I first heard the expression, “Pineapple Post.”

Recently, I participated in a social media writing course by esteemed writing coach Deborah Ager. At one point, she instructed us to write a “Pineapple Post.” I believe she may have even coined the term, which she described as a post that welcomes people to your business or page without being ‘salesy.’

That makes sense because, in many places, the pineapple is the symbol of hospitality and welcome.

I admit, I never really understood why the pineapple became such a symbol. Although wonderfully sweet on the inside, its prickly exterior is anything but welcoming.

So practicing what I teach – i.e. “learn something new every day” – I looked it up. I learned that because early trade routes between America and Caribbean Islands were often slow and perilous, it was a significant achievement for a host to procure a ripe pineapple for guests. Also, sea captains would place a pineapple outside their homes as a symbol of their safe return from trade routes in the Caribbean or Pacific.

Okay. I get it now. But a couple years ago, I learned something about pineapple symbolism that changed its meaning for me forever.  

I am a motivational speaker and leadership coach who teaches people how to light the motivational TORCH of those around them, while keeping their own fire burning bright. I use a lot of humor in my programs, and help people learn to laugh in the face of adversity.

Because of this bright outlook on life, I am often asked to emcee events, and even officiate weddings and vow renewal ceremonies.

Friends of ours were celebrating a milestone anniversary and we were going to be taking a Caribbean cruise together which would be stopping in Antigua, where they had their honeymoon. I was honored when they asked if I would officiate a vow renewal for them on their favorite beach.

I wanted to make this special and to bring some levity to the event, so I bought a new outfit for the occasion – an iridescent orange suit covered in brilliant yellow pineapples and bright green palm leaves! Somehow, I managed to keep this hidden from them until we were standing in place on the beach. As you can imagine, It was blinding surprise in the bright Caribbean sun!

After the ceremony, I wore the suit back to the ship and to dinner that night and out dancing afterward. I had heard rumor of a “pineapple party” taking place somewhere onboard. I wondered about what it was and figured my pineapple-covered suit would surely get noticed and we’d get an invitation.

Well, the suit was noticed all right, and that’s when I learned about the alternative meaning of pineapples.

During the first several days of the cruise, I had seen several cabin doors around the ship with pineapple decorations on them. Many people decorate their cabin doors, so I thought nothing much of it at the time, especially since pineapples seemed like a perfectly logical island theme. 

Apparently, there is a subculture of folks who have adopted the pineapple as a way of identifying each other and offer a whole different level of welcome and sharing. When they saw my blaze-orange pineapple-covered suit, you might say it raised some eyebrows and we suddenly made a whole bunch of new friends.

Of course, we were oblivious. We were just dancing and having fun with our new friends until we realized that we could no longer discern the couples and whom was with whom. I remember our reaction when it suddenly dawned on us. “oh.” “Oh.” “OH!”

LOL. I relate this story as a reminder to always keep an open mind in life and find the humor in every situation.

By the way, I still wear the suit on occasion, when I want to lighten the mood somewhere, and always retell that story. 😉

Toxicity in the Workplace

Recently I have been working with a team of people who found themselves in a toxic work environment over several years. They are all passionate about the mission of the organization and fully endorse its cause and business line.

However, there were critical negative issues with management, leadership, and communication throughout the company. The senior staff belittled people, micromanaged them, second-guessed everything, were dishonest, and kept secrets -- even from each other, Because of their deep belief and commitment to the work and care for their co-workers, most employees stayed despite the problems, believing that if that they just work hard enough, they can make things better and continue their good work.

Unfortunately, the toxicity of the environment overtook and overshadowed the company's work. It also manifested in serious degradation of the workforce. A number of employees became complacent, non-productive, and even detrimental to the organization. Worse yet, several employees become ill, some even requiring professional therapeutic assistance. A few who ultimately left the company had a difficult time committing to a new company or were not able to face starting a new job altogether.

Most of the workers were intent on not giving up on the company and its mission. What they did not fully understand is that correcting deeply embedded toxicity like this takes more than just their determination and loyalty, and that the solution lies in EVERYONE being on board. Each cog in the wheel of a workplace must be in place to consciously work to make things better, more effective, and healthier. If the entire team, including every employee, senior leadership, and management at all levels, do not make this a priority the resulting side effects will ultimately destroy and bury, not only the work and the success of the company but the mental and physical health of the workers.

Through his social media "Leadership First" sites, Gifford Thomas, author of The Inspirational Leader, Inspire Your Team To Believe In The Impossible, has this to say about the impact of toxic leadership: "Our workplace has virtually become a second home; however, when the workplace becomes a source of stress for people, that stress can take a more substantial toll on our health than we realize.”

Unfortunately, according to Dr. Jean Kim, leadership can be one of the significant causes of this stress, and when a leader displays certain behaviors and characteristics that contribute to a negative, even hostile working environment, it’s a warning sign that the environment is dangerous to your mental health.

Leaders' misuse of their influence can quickly trickle down into their employees’ psyches, causing incredible distress, betrayal, anger, and can even lead to mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and even trauma. Look out for the following traits and behaviors. This list will help you identify toxic leadership and work environments to avoid. 

Note the overwhelming theme of communication here. Almost all of these can be illuminated by looking through the lens of communication. How are leaders communicating with people, and what are they communicating with their words and actions?

Only open, honest, inclusive communication can help reduce the potential for toxicity.

#torchtip